I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize