That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
