You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
bring money and cleavage
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
