Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
