listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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