I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
