Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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