At least make sure they are 18
Why
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
