Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
