i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
