Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize