Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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