i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I believe in your delicious
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
