omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
