youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
