Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
