Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
not ubering you a puppy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
