Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize