Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
