She is in my trunk
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
