Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i came on her dog
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
