I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't deserve a penis
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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