remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize