how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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