Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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