You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
