our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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