True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
