you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
