these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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