Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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