Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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