Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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