that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
