I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize