I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
