On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
