Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
