So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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