It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize