i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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