They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
