you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize