About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
