And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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