I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
