Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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