He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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