please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
