The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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