So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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