why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
