This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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