Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
