Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
