If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
